So my sister has lived in Manhattan forever... and she recently moved in with her friend Amy........ they've been friends for a super long time... as long as she's been in the city...
So she asked me to come up and help her paint her ginormous apartment... seriously HUGE......... looks over the river... effing gorgeous.......
I get there... and call her... tell her to pick up some food on 97th or something.. and I'll be outside... tell her where I am and she's like..."OMG shelley...... that's like half a block away... can't you just come around the corner......"
My natural response was... "eff you slut... I found a spot a half a block away......between broadway and amsterdam... this is like a once in 24 hours good spot"
So of course.... I don't want her to have to walk half a block with fricken fried noodles so I go around the corner.....
There was enough room for my little car.... in front of this truck around the corner....but it was a squeeze..... So I back in... and totally hit the truck....... get out to see if there's any damage..... there was an itty bitty ding... and normally... I wouldn't have done anything... but the truck had temp plates on it.... figures... I'd hit a brand new truck....
My sister comes out all pissy and yelling..."wtf... i walked around the corner... where you said you were... blah blah blah...." "Dude... sorry.. but I couldn't call you I was too busy writing the owner of this truck a letter... about how good my insurance is..."
She had her laugh... and was like whatever doooood... it's not even worth it...
Okay... So we head up Riverside......On our way to the new place.......
It's on the corner of a fricken ten-way intersection! Half a block too far.... us little white girls with fried noodles are in serious danger.....
A'ight... A'ight.... so we get to the building.. when she starts to, "prepare" me for RASTA...... Amy's dog......
I'm totally scare of schitzo dogs...... I'll cry....
She gets me all hyped up about how Rasta has been known to bite.... and when she walks her... she has to use a muzzle and she won't go more than 50 feet from the building........
I'm thinking........ this is soooo not okay... why would you do this to me... you know I'm freaked out about crazy dogs.......
She taught me to say RRRAAASSTTAA.. the same way she does... roll the r and do it in sort of a baby high pitched voice.....
I had to wait outside the apt... for her to barracade the dog in a room.... for when I entered......
WTF.... are you kidding me.....
So I go in and check out the pad.....
The ENTIRE time... the dog was barking mad.... howling like a m-er f-er... I was petrified.....
I saw the place.. and she was like..."Okay.. you have to sit on the couch and put your palms up......." ahahahhahahaa......
Holy Shit... you've got to be joking..... I have to sit here like this while this crazy dog come and attacks me...
What do I do if this...?
What do I do if that?
What are you going to do if this/that?
She lets the dog out... and she comes barreling at me...... I was so scared... palms up.... don't move...... LOL
Rasta jumped in my lap and started kissing my face...like I was a lollipop!!!!
"Adrienne.. you effing slut... this is the crazy dog you got me so worked up about"
She was shocked... she had never seen her meet someone with such love..........
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